When our family decided to move across the country in February 2022, we bought a house, sold our home and relocated quite swiftly. Since the summer of 2020 we had been exhaustively exploring options for more space and quiet/calm in our lives, closer to nature…it just wasn’t a consideration that we’d move as far as the west coast. Once we opened up to the possibility of leaving Ontario, we were amazed by how effortlessly things fell into place for our move to Kelowna. Looking back at our major move, however, there were certainly many moments when it was declared that we had made it through the hard part. It’s clear “the hard part” varies depending on your perspective and situation. I’ve found that moving across the country has been a welcome adventure, one where research, planning, prioritizing and adaptability, all contribute towards a smooth ride.

Here were some of our key milestones, ones you can anticipate facing when making a move on this scale:

Finding a new home. We felt lucky to find and secure the first house we toured virtually within days of it coming on the Kelowna market. In the 18 months prior, we had had many ups and downs seriously considering possible moves from Muskoka to Scarborough Bluffs and even a reno of our Beaches home…it was a long drawn out process with set-backs and disappointments along the way until eventually we realized the power of doing all that exploratory work: we were super clear on our priorities and jumped on what is now our current home.
Deciding to leave our Toronto home, close to friends, family and trusted business associates, was one of the hardest decisions I’ve ever made and I have to acknowledge the emotional roller coaster I went through breaking the news to friends and family. We took a leap of faith that we could build a life for our family here that we never would have had in Toronto but we knew we were giving up so much to do it. Once we had pulled the band-aid off I thought I was done the hard part.
Selling a house after buying came with financial risk that turned out to be more stressful than anticipated. We did it as swiftly as possible and managed to buy and sell in the same financial market, guided by an agent we trusted. Had we listed our house even a week later, we may not have hit our target sale price. We’ve discussed that in the future we’d be more inclined to sell first to avoid a repeat of what John will no doubt remember as the hardest part.
The actual move. As we breathed a sigh of relief that we had made this big decision, bought and and sold a house, a friend (who had also recently moved across the country) told us we should gear up for, you guessed it, the hard part: the cross-country journey. There were so many moving pieces (literally and figuratively) for our family of four. Thanks to her warnings and learnings, our good timing, my packing and move-related experience, as well as support from family and friends in Toronto who helped us navigate this stage, I found the pieces fell into place for a smooth transition.

I’m proud of how swiftly we made the decision when we recognized a good opportunity, and how through an expert network of realtors, friends, organizers, and coaches, we navigated our own move. Now we’ve settled into our space relatively quickly and hosted visitors so it is starting to feel like home. We are well on our way to making new friends here but recognize it’s something that doesn’t happen overnight. It takes time to build true friendships, trust, and a support network. We make a point of investing time and energy into relationships new and old because this is something that will truly make us feel at home. It’s dawned on me this could be the real hard part, but I’m focusing on enjoying the process.

So how did we navigate the actual move and the many moving pieces? It’s been a mix of planning, adapting, and taking guidance/help from others:

Solidify moving targets (no pun intended) as soon as possible. We gave the sellers the closing date they wanted with the option for them to move it up and they took us up on it. The revised date worked out for the best around the boys’ school (transitioning towards the end of the school year as warmer weather enabled events to reopen) but we were relieved once the possession date was confirmed so we could plan other things around it.
Be clear about priorities when booking movers—and get a few quotes. We kept moving truck costs down majorly by opting for a shared truck without confirmed pick-up and delivery dates. We made several tradeoffs going this route and I wouldn’t recommend it for everyone but price-wise it made sense for us. In addition to cost, consider the care they put into wrapping and protecting furniture pieces, cleanliness, how accurate the size/weight estimate is.
Aim to be self-sufficient, but accept help where you can get it. Some of the accommodation and travel scenarios we considered to bridge our move were just too much to ask of others. If our asks for help were met with any hesitation, we didn’t want to impose on anyone, nor did we want plans contingent on too many others with potential to change. But when help was offered, we graciously accepted! I had the fun of getting to drive our belongings and car cross country with a supportive and adventurous friend who had the time and was excited to share the driving, mountain roads and all! The kids and John stayed with her husband and kids before flying out. This kept the boys in school longer and the kid-free drive had many benefits: we made fewer stops, fit more in the car, and could carry a conversation. (As cool as we thought it would be for the kids to see the country, late April wasn’t the best time—many points of interest were closed—so we made the kid-free trip more efficiently.)
Pack, purge & purchase strategically. We decided what to sell, donate, keep and use temporarily, move in the car, and pack to move on the truck, factoring in cost, convenience, comfort. We planned what we’d order to the new house or buy in town. Details on that below.
Have buffer in the schedule, especially as the move date approaches. This proved to be essential when John got COVID just 3 weeks before our move. Thankfully I didn’t get sick but I did find myself caring for a sick child and the thought of us all getting sick scared me into packing on overdrive. I focused on getting the most essential things done while wrapping up projects for Toronto clients before leaving.
Get a head start on the farewells. As soon as we knew we were leaving, we seized opportunities to spend time with important people in our lives, we were grateful we did this as John’s condition led to many cancelled plans in our final weeks.
Lighten the goodbyes. We encouraged friends and family to book visits to lighten the farewell process—having early dates set gave us added motivation to settle in as well. Shortly after, we booked our first trip back to Toronto.
Hire a coach. This came about by chance and I was so glad I did it! I personally found great support from a coach/therapist who specializes in family transitions. We chatted weekly for the 6-weeks leading up to the move and I found each call helped me address potential stressors and leave with an actionable and prioritized list of work, family, home to-dos. I appreciated an outside perspective to recognize what was in my control and what wasn’t, what was truly essential or not.

OUR PACKING CHECKLISTS

What came in the car:

Valuables & sentimental items (including a sentimental, fragile marble side table that would have cost $400 to crate for the truck)
Kitchen basics (cutlery, plastic dishes, Aeropress, select mugs wrapped in tea towels, Vitamix, kettle, select pots and pans, cooking utensils), mostly packed in a couple laundry baskets
Air mattresses, linens and towels (1 set each)
Hangers
Kids’ favourite toys (a few each)
Work/office essentials
Small electronics
Basic tools

What was in our suitcases/backpacks:

Clothes, toiletries/first aid, layered outwear and shoes
Personal media & electronics
Passports/ID

What we arranged to have at the new house for our arrival:

Dining table (purchased from sellers)
Dining chairs (ordered online)
Mattresses (ordered online)
Sofa (ordered online)

What was left behind for last-minute donation:

Excess cleaning supplies
Old, well-used kitchen items to donate
Old worn-out pillows and towels
Foods

What was on the truck:

Furniture
Toys
Gym/sports equipment
Most kitchen items
Art supplies
Wardrobes
Books
Decor & art
Bikes
Tool colletion

This was our new home when we first arrived, completely empty except 2 tables we purchased from the sellers. Our moving truck arrived 10 days later so we ‘camped out’ here until then.

So there you have it, these are the main things, challenges, and dynamics that we navigated to get to where we are and I hope hearing our story will offer some insight for anyone else planning a big move. If you have more questions I haven’t touched on here, I’m always happy to share more specific insights for your situation when people reach out to me directly.

Major Moves: Getting There