5 Things To Know Before Decluttering With Your Spouse

So you’ve decided you want to live with less stuff, you’ve got the full on urge to purge, but what do you do about all your partner’s stuff? Here’s what you need to know before you start decluttering a shared space:

  1. Always start by tackling your own things first and decluttering areas within your own decision-making purview. You’ll feel an instant satisfaction and hopefully your partner will be inspired by the results.

  2. Never tell someone else they should get rid of something. If you don’t take the time to stop and appreciate what they value, people will only want to hold on tighter to what’s theirs and resent the decluttering process. Instead, pick an area with a specific function and help them identify what things they find most useful and enjoyable, then make these things more accessible. They will start to feel that same satisfaction!

  3. Keep in mind that things tend to look nicer when they are well cared for. Before you write someone else’s stuff off as junk, try cleaning what’s dirty, repairing what’s broken, or grouping like items together. The process will help give old things new life and may reveal to both of you which objects are past their prime and no longer useful.

  4. Make sure your partner has a designated area to keep their own things. If you feel limited by the space, be creative around your home, tapping into under-utilized wall space, closets, cupboards or even the garage, wherever you can carve out the room.

  5. If your partner is really struggling to part with things that are taking up valuable space, start by helping them reorganize. For anything that does not check the boxes of being useful and enjoyable, it may be time to part with it. But if that’s too big a leap for them, here are some things you can do first:

    • Group things by function (e.g. tools, office supplies, files, sentimental, reference materials, hobbies, etc.). It will become obvious which categories are taking up the most space and therefore can benefit the most from decluttering.

    • Store things more efficiently by removing unnecessary packaging and consolidating like things. You’ll find they take up considerably less space.

    • Be patient and designate a temporary storage space before getting rid of things entirely. This will give them time to experience life without it. Whatever is easily forgotten can eventually be purged.

Read on for examples of how we approached organizing, and eventually decorating, our own family basement…

Our family’s basement (above) is more oriented around my husband’s tastes since he spends the most time there, but we all enjoy it. The boys like to watch sports and play video games with him, and also love the colour orange. (Sorry Leafs fans, but this family roots for the Flyers!)

  • Colour Scheme: I thought the space should feel bright for the kids to play in so we kept the walls and carpet light in colour, but we used orange accents to coordinate with the hockey memorabilia. (We also have smart lights that will give the room a warm glow—the perfect solution after I vetoed an orange accent wall.)

  • Framed Photos: Some old posters were hanging around for years and we finally replaced the beat-up frame and put up a gallery wall of favourites. I personally have zero attachment to the individual pieces, but once it went up I had to admit that it brought some much needed personality and playfulness to the space.

  • Original Art: We edited and cropped photos from our own travels and had them mounted on the brick wall. It’s all baseball stadiums (which he’s more into than I am), but full of shared memories.

  • DIY Furniture: The coffee table was designed and made together at the cottage. The wood top warms up the space but the sleek legs keep it from feeling too heavy.

  • Storage Space: The deep built-in storage is extremely useful for books, office files, video games, sentimental items and electronics. The labeled shelves within keep categories of things grouped (although I’m sure there are old electronics that could be purged).

  • Sentimental Items: We recently inherited 4 boxes of childhood mementos when my in-laws moved. Although my husband still hasn’t found the time to go through them, I unpacked one bulky trophy that he can see and enjoy when he opens the cabinets. I also got rid of some recycling/garbage and got everything else down to 2 boxes of like items so they at least take up less storage space until he has a chance to tackle them.

I used to say orange was the one colour I didn’t like, but since all the guys in our house love it so much, I’ve developed a new appreciation for certain shades. (Tangerine, Habanero & Hermes are right up there with the Flyers orange in my mind!) When the people you love are happy and feel at home in a space, that is more valuable than any passing trend. Sometimes it requires a little give and take to strike the right balance for you as a couple or family, but it’ll be worth it when you find your perfect shade of orange.

Declutter, FamilySarah Grant